Hot Dogs | A Confederacy of Dunces
'Then why don't we stop and eat something?' Ignatius pointed to the cart at the corner. It was shaped like a hot dog on wheels. 'I believe that they vend foot-long hot dogs.'
'Hot dogs? Honey, in all this rain and cold we gonna stand outside and eat weenies?' '
It's a thought.'
A Confederacy of Dunces
John Kennedy Toole
It’s taken me so very long to finally read A Confederacy of Dunces. I found a copy at a secondhand store years ago, and I’m just slightly disappointed at myself that I didn’t read it the moment I got it. The history of the book is fascinating, only published eleven years after the author’s death - it went on to earn John Kennedy Toole a posthumous Pulitzer Prize. Nearly every list of 100 Books to Read before you die has it appear somewhere, and it’s one of the books that I’ve made more people comment on than anything else, every time I read it in public.
Hot dogs felt like the item I had to create from the pages of this novel - a food item that is referred to and focused upon many times. I really didn’t have the patience to try and attempt to make my own hot dogs for this as well - plus my googling for any potential recipes to see what others had done left me in the possession of far too many pages of ‘carrot’ hotdogs as a vegan alternative. I do love a good carrot, and I’m all for good substitutes but there are so many good plant based hot dogs out there, do we really need to just use a carrot instead?
Instead I decided to make the hotdog buns, and the toppings. I did attempt a mustard but unfortunately it turned out particularly vile and basically inedible. I invited some friends over and we spent a sunny day in the front yard munching on hotdogs as they waited for my approval to take a bite once the photos were satisfactory.
*Note: yes I could have attempted to make the hotdogs but I honestly couldn’t be bothered. I had some plant based hot dogs from Moving Mountain in my freezer and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to use them.
Hot Dogs
Ingredients
Makes approx. 5 -6 hot dogs
Buns
500g bread flour
150ml warm milk + extra for a wash
120ml warm water
2 tsp sugar
2 tsp dry active yeast
Sea salt
3 tbsp butter
Sauce
2kg ripe tomatoes, roughly chopped up
1 onion, roughly chopped, 2 garlic cloves, sliced
10 whole cloves
1 tablespoon paprika
2 tbsp salt
1 cinnamon stick
130g white sugar
500ml apple cider vinegar
+ hot dogs of your choice *see note
Buns
Start by preparing the dough for the hot dog buns. Combine the flour, sugar, pinch of salt, and yeast together in a bowl. Add in the warm milk and water and mix together until a dough begins to form. If it’s too dry you can add a little more water as if necessary.
Bring the dough out onto a lightly floured surface, using the heel of your hand to press it down and away from yourself. Knead the dough for around 10 minutes or until it becomes smooth and malleable.
Lightly oil a large bowl and place the dough it in, ensuring that the surface of the dough is also spread with oil. Cover with a clean tea towel and leave in a warm place for around an hour or until the dough has double in size.
Sauce
While the dough is rising you can make the tomato sauce. Place the tomatoes, onion, cloves, paprika, garlic, cinnamon and salt into a saucepan on a medium heat.
Bring to the boil and then reduce to a simmer. You want the tomatoes to break down almost completely - this will take around an hour of cooking.
Once the tomatoes have broken down into the sauce, you can add in the sugar and vinegar. Continue to simmer until the mixture reduces and thickens into a sauce consistency. Make sure you stir occasionally.
When it is ready you can strain the mixture through a sieve to remove the bits of cloves and tomato skin residue. I ended up doing this, getting the cloves out and then blending the tomato pieces in with the sauce I had gotten out, I prefer a much chunkier sauce. Bottle your sauce and seal until ready to use.
Your dough should be well and truly ready at this stage. Bring it out onto a lightly floured surface and roll it into a rectangle. Here is a good guide to the various ways you can shape the rolls as well - I ended up just shaping each individually.
Place the shaped buns onto a baking paper lined oven tray and cover with a clean tea towel. Leave for another hour to rise again. You can preheat the oven to 180C when you have about 30 minutes left of the second rise.
Once the buns have doubled in size using the remaining milk to glaze the tops of them before placing them int the preheated oven. Cook for about 15- 20 minutes or until the tops have turned a light, golden brown. Leave to cool before cutting into them.
Cook your chosen hot dogs however the directions say, and enjoy with your homemade buns and tomato sauce! Also delicious with mustard, pickles or onion!
